this post shall have three bits. the lighthearted bit, the introspective bit, and the obscure bit.

part one : where my life stands.

i have exams which i might bungle again (okay, this is getting repetitive), my friends leave one by one for their jobs, emptying the city of the young, the restless, the bros, and a large section of wierdos (in quality, if not quantity). all the while as the friend who promised me financial support till get a job teetering on the edge of educational bankruptcy (if there is such a word). there are bandhs all the while (read reasons for getting a holiday from univ) and there's my delicate practical attendance. there are feelings of jealousy i never knew existed, and there are bleeding fingers and the sheer joy of being able to play my favourite songs on the guitar. there are bits of life definitely looking up and bits wondering which way up was again. the most interesting of still lifes are noticeable amidst incessant flux. and there's my deliberate attempt to cut down on the usage of long pompous words.
there's one of my favourite series possibly in its final season (HIMYM) and there's another due to start the final season in a few months (Lost). there's another killer movie with a killer guest appearance by simon pegg, and there's the cold...brr...but i'm still bathing every day, in cold water...and i intend to keep it that way...hehe.

part 2 : how my life stands.

people walk in, walk by, walk past...walk out at times. i usually am a mute spectator. sometimes i make half hearted attempts to raise my hand or speak the words which might make a difference, but i rarely do so. optimism and fatalism weave patterns in and out of my life, and my guitar gets de-tuned once too many. people ask me questions i do not have answers to, i have questions i keep locked away. still, guess things could have been so much worse. there still are enough people smiling around me, and enough reasons to smile myself. my singing gets less and less crappier, and i've made peace

where my life stands.

this post shall have three bits. the lighthearted bit, the introspective bit, and the obscure bit.

part 1 : where my life stands.

i have exams which i might bungle again (okay, this is getting repetitive), my friends leave one by one for their jobs, emptying the city of the young, the restless, the bros, and a large section of wierdos (in quality, if not quantity). all the while as the friend who promised me financial support till i get a job teetering on the edge of educational bankruptcy (if there is such a word). there are bandhs all the while (read reasons for getting a holiday from univ) and there's my delicate practical attendance. there are feelings of jealousy i never knew existed, and there are bleeding fingers and the sheer joy of being able to play my favourite songs on the guitar. there are bits of life definitely looking up and bits wondering which way up was again. the most interesting of still lifes are noticeable amidst incessant flux. and there's my deliberate attempt to cut down on the usage of long pompous words. there's one of my favourite series possibly in its final season (HIMYM) and there's another due to start the final season in a few months (Lost). there's another killer movie with a killer guest appearance by simon pegg, and there's the cold...brr...but i'm still bathing every day, in cold water...and i intend to keep it that way...hehe.

part 2 : where my life stands.

people walk in, walk by, walk past...walk out at times. i usually am a mute spectator. sometimes i make half hearted attempts to raise my hand or speak the words which might make a difference, but i rarely do so. optimism and fatalism weave patterns in and out of my life, and my guitar gets de-tuned once too often. people ask me questions i do not have answers to, i have questions i keep locked away. still, guess things could have been so much worse. there still are enough people smiling around me, and enough reasons to smile myself. my singing gets less and less crappier, and i've made peace with people, life, and myself. well, most of the time...but this ferris wheel has started to spin faster and faster....

part ? : where my life stands.

i hope there is no almost by the end of the year.
i long for the feel of the sunlight between my fingers.
okay...the above 2 lines are not part of a poem. its just luck they kinda rhyme.
silence does have a sound...more so in music.
minor chords can be used to convey smiles. and major chords for the wistful smile. its just how you want it to be.
if i hold out my hand, sooner or later i will be able to feel the wind against my fingers....i believe that.
faith can be such a fickle minded word at times.
time draws near...

the song without a chorus

so many smiles,
so many faces,
so many lives
leave their traces.

so many nods,
so many tears,
so many feelings
over the years.

the fingers that softly
touched your cheek;
the voice you wanted
to hear all week.

those little things
that mattered a lot,
they never go away,
or so i thought.

so close, so far,
a heartbeat away;
to and fro thoughts
all night all day.

hands that push away
in both directions;
redundant feelings that
were your world once.

'tis a lonely song
that only sings alone,
like a dead letter,
or a ringing phone.

so me and my guitar
wait for a chorus;
for one more rainbow,
a silver lining for us...

HELP!

i.have.exams.
the above statement is a fact.

i.need.to.study.
the above statement is a conjecture.

or, actually, fact. i'm very close to a repeat telecast of last sem's disastrous result. disastrous used here as a gross understatement.
i'm one of those people who're come pre-equipped with a panic button. all these years, i've happily put away studying as long as possible. then when exams would be appropriately near, the panic button would get activated automatically and i'l start having nightmares about flunking, which would then propel me towards books.

but i think this panic button has a shelf life. i'm becoming surer by the day that it's acting up.

when i was in school, the panic button usually activated roughly 3 weeks before my exams.
by the time i waqs in 3rd year of college, that time had reduced to a week.
1st sem of my msc, that had come down to 2 days.
2nd sem and it didnt activate till i had the question paper in hand and actually blanked out.....

that was when i figured out something was very, very wrong.
so i've managed to temporarily fix it for the next 3 sems. but its coming apart again. 5 weeks left and i ain't half as scared as i ought to be. which equates to next to no studying. that's bad, right?

so, as i said earlier......HELP!!