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was going through my old mails...the days when forwards flooded my inbox.... saw something random there which suddenly made a lot of sense. 'its the friends you can call at 4AM who matter.' the 24x7 lives we lead now has made that statement slightly redundant nowadays, but it still strikes a chord. so.

i keep getting a feeling that somewhere, somehow, time is running out...and there's always so much left unsaid. so many moments, so many shared memories. photo freeze moments, and some tear jerkers too. moments lost in the untidy cupboards of our minds...in some drawer we rarely open. so.

like the time a friend blasted me for not being able to get over a girl. and the time we played on opposite teams, baying for blood, but were best mates the moment the final whistle rung. like the time i would call them up for no reason in particular during exams. the official reason would be doubt clearing, but actually, all i needed was the reassurance that i fight not alone. like walking back in the rain. like filling up slambooks and signing t-shirts. like the flush of joy to see a long lost friend suddenly on facebook. like all those times we posed for the same cameras. like all the times we bitched and cribbed and yet enjoyed every moment of it. like bunked tuitions. and roaming around park street.likes cassettes lent out and borrowed. like the most pointless of conversations. like the centershocks we tried our best to make our teachers take. like our favourite classes. and our least favourite ones. like so many other bits which you can see best at the corner of your eyes. so.

flux is the only constant we have left. people change. circumstances change. and the world around us changes too. but those promises, those words, those smiles and hugs and shared memories...they can never change. such is the beauty of life. so.

these lines hold nothing i've not said before. just that so many things have been playing in my head recently. the city i love so much has suddenly become four empty walls, the colour my friends gave it with their presence gone without them. there's an awful lot of space, but i can hardly breathe.things not making much sense all of a sudden. maybe writing this will make winter fade away slowly and not take me along. so.

will spring ever come, i wonder....